Becoming confident in dating
And refusing to quit while celebrating small wins feeds the life experience that underlies true and lasting confidence.
This constellation of capabilities — attitude, knowledge, and experience, which together make up AOC’s CAKE formula — is the formula for true and sustainable confidence. It’s astounding how much the outer can affect the inner, how much behavior can affect your thoughts. A study from Harvard, published in Psychological Science, shows that body language can influence how confident you feel, as Amy Cuddy highlights in this TED talk.
The way you will attain that goal is to have courage and perspective. Think of dating and finding love as one more thing you are doing to make yourself happy and better yourself. Have fun, love yourself, and get out there so you can start meeting and dating with confidence. Now take this list and identify the two things that, if you did them, would most positively impact your ability to meet men and create a wonderful love life.
Be willing to put yourself out there and know you can take whatever comes your way.(A guy saying "no" to you isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. Think of it like taking an anthropology class, going to the spa, or planning a trip to Paris. Men can be fun, and this doesn’t have to seem like some freaky or incredibly foreign thing in your life. The more you like yourself and your life, the more comfortable you'll feel connecting with confident and impressive men.8. Write at least four ACTION steps you will take in the next two weeks.
Think of meeting men and dating like anything else in your life. Maybe you'll commit to chatting up one man every day or to creating your check-in question.
Figure out what you want and decide how you're going to get it. Maybe you'll list the wonderful things you have to offer or find out how you can learn more about becoming the confident woman you need to be.
True confidence isn’t about suppressing pain or pretending that failure doesn’t hurt.When I was single, I became this insecure, demure and seemingly unfriendly woman when I was in the company of available men. That silly behavior went back to my junior high school days when I got nervous around the cute and popular boys. Here’s what I finally learned at 45: I was a grown-up woman, damnit. I stopped thinking I had to be something different around men. I realized the REAL me was the type of woman whom the good guys were attracted to.I knew who I was and what I wanted, and I was in charge of my life. I started meeting nice, fabulous men, and soon after I met Larry.Some think arrogance plays a part, some believe it’s about physical strength, and others imagine a guy who isn’t afraid to get into a fight with anyone who challenges them. So rather than coming up with some generic one-line answer, I decided to write a list of traits that I know confident men carry. Knows to apologize when he’s wrong Speaks the truth and doesn’t go back on his word Isn’t worried about his girlfriend’s past dating history Doesn’t need to put people down to make himself feel better Gives back to others because he genuinely wants to Is assertive and actively goes after what he wants in life Knows how to be a gentleman and treat a woman like a lady Takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t blame others Approaches a beautiful woman even when he’s nervous Has many interests and is passionate about them Makes the woman he’s with feel sexy and desirable Takes the initiative to ask for her number or invite her on a date Leads with charisma and self-assurance Doesn’t take advantage or prey on those weaker than him Stands up for his values and what he believes in Has his emotions under control and keeps his cool even in the most tense situations Embraces his sexual side and enjoys flirting Smiles often and brightens other people’s day Speaks slowly, clearly, and with purpose Gets excited to meet new people and personalities Communicates with his partner and doesn’t shut down Expresses his feelings openly instead of making passive-aggressive comments Isn’t afraid to disagree but doesn’t have to start an argument Has a proactive outlook on life and radiates positive energy Enjoys going on adventures and trying new things Doesn’t have to brag or boast to feel important Gives strong eye contact when talking Avoids negative self-talk and doesn’t tear himself down Makes the tough decisions when he has to Is comfortable and non-judgemental about female sexuality Sees failure as an opportunity to learn and grow from Allows others to save face when they slip up He respects and considers the opinions of others but doesn’t seek their approval Tries to prevent unnecessary drama and fights in his relationship Isn’t selfish and shares what he has with others Creates sexual tension through physical contact and goes for the kiss Avoids jumping to conclusions and making unwarranted assumptions Is open-minded about new ideas and gives them a fair chance Stands tall, with his shoulders relaxed, and head held high Enjoys a good challenge and the process to overcome it Isn’t jealous, controlling, or needy in his relationships Has a great sense of humor and knows how to make people laugh Always protects those closest to him Expands his comfort zone on a regular basis Is a skilled lover and knows how to give a woman incredible orgasms Encourages others to succeed and is excited for their accomplishments Doesn’t guilt trip or manipulate his partner to get what he wants Is polite, has manners, and understands social etiquette Tries to look his best because he values himself Accepts criticism and doesn’t take things personally Is happy with himself and doesn’t hide who he really is So how about it, are you feeling confident? unless I'm in the company of a single man — especially one I'm attracted to.