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Something in me made me curious and I looked at your Match profile and saw you’d logged on recently after we said we’d be exclusive. I’m not here to ‘catch you’ or worry about what you may or may not be up to…

And I while it did make me feel confused and a bit nervous, I figured it’s always possible it could have been something innocent – maybe you were canceling the service, changing your billing info, etc. if you want something other than an exclusive relationship…

People are so quick to snap up something half-hearted and then try to make that half-hearted relationship into something more.

I’m not saying that never ever works out, but you are much more likely to succeed in your love life when you take the easy path which is: Say NO to what is what you don’t want and learn what makes what you want most likely to come to you.

I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…

I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.

As such, some of the comments (which I have preserved) bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision.

The fact remains though that you don’t know, but hopefully having a conversation with him will bring you closer to knowing. It is true there are dishonest people in the world and it’s perfectly reasonable and healthy to be suspicious when you get the sense that you’re with someone who’s lying to you. However, there are times where we ourselves are paranoid…

Only you can decide if what you learn convinces you to keep participating in the relationship or not.

I said earlier that it’s worth looking into your own sense of trust in relationships since our internal relationship with trust can have a large impact in our relationships… You will never, ever know what the other person is doing at all times.

You’re just seeing what he’s doing online and that information is freely available to the world.

Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…

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Now to keep that in perspective, I also say it’s in your best interest to do and be everything you can in order to make the kind of men you desire to really to commit to you. When both people really want a great relationship, the relationship feels effortless.

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