Dating for 7 years before marriage
We think of marriage as a step towards starting a family.We definitely talk about getting engaged, but we agree there's no rush.""She has a job that makes her move all over the place; it's kind of hard to pull the trigger when you don't know where she's going to be working every two years.The feeling I get is one of hanging around with my wife of 20 years; not that it's bad, but there's no next step and no need for more significant gestures.Since this mock marriage has taken place, wanting to go for a real marriage has become much less likely.We moved in together last fall, and have been very happy with this step.
You could broach the subject by saying, "Bob, we have been dating for a year now, I want to check in with you and see where you see our relationship going in the future." Be careful to really hear what he is saying and not what you want him to say, as this is a common trap many women fall into.Remember his goal is to keep you happy and around without having to further the commitment. He will compliment you without adding himself in the mix.He will tell you how great you are and how much he admires you but will not say anything like, "I am so lucky to be with you ... " If you are nodding your head thinking to yourself, "My guy does that," then it's time to take a good, hard look at the reality of your relationship's future.Even when he knows for sure he will never marry you, he will keep dating you until he finds the "right one." This may seem cruel to you, however, men in general look at dating very differently than women.Men feel there is nothing wrong with continuing to date since both of you are "having a good time." Many women are unaware of this dating element with men and end up staying too long in a relationship that is going nowhere.