Dating in the first year of sobriety
It was the beginning of a life that would end up worlds away from where I had lived for the past 11 years.In respect to the 12 step program’s traditions, they ask that you do not mention being associated with their name for reasons of anonymity, but I have to say that for someone at the point I was at in my life, it was a lifesaving group, so I will go out of line with tradition for a moment, and say that Alcoholics Anonymous was a vehicle that was instrumental in saving my life.He shared with me a profound statement that I constantly remember when life is a struggle.He said that he wasn’t scared of dying, he was scared of going back to just existing.Now, I need to be cautious here, because many people have varying views on programs like these.
I was talking with a dear friend near the end of my first year of sobriety, and I was sharing with him that I didn’t know if I was really changing my life around. Death was something that I had actually searched for.Also in that first year, I suffered a ,000.00 loss when the club my band was playing in burnt down with all of our equipment in it, and the club had minimal insurance to cover the loss.In that first year I also fractured a bone in my forearm, stretched the tendons in my good ankle and went through all of it without drinking.Now this may not sound like a major accomplishment to someone who never had a drinking problem.But to those who have been there, for those who have used some form of distraction to deal with their emotions whether it be drinking, drugs, smoking, eating, gambling, sex, the list goes on and on...
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And I am constantly reminded of that lesson again and again as I get older, looking at those simple words “One day at a time” from new and amazing perspectives. I was standing there before the judge, ready to be taken by the bailiff to begin my 3 months sentence when he said, “Pay your fine, get out of my courtroom and don’t let me ever see you standing in front of me again.” With that, his gavel slammed the judge’s bench and I was led out of the courtroom. It didn’t take long for me to experience many things that would give me a taste of reality without alcohol.