Eva illouz internet dating
For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love.Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives.Many people seem to think that online dating offers possibilities other, more traditional forms of meeting partners, did not.To begin with, the sheer scale of choice is much greater: whereas previously the ‘pool’ of potential partners would have been limited to the people one knew through family, school, work, or everyday interaction (and, in many cases, chosen by family members), now we can access profiles of users from different parts of town, country, or even different countries, and interact with people we would not otherwise meet in our daily lives.What has changed, however, is that specific patterns of consumption/lifestyle choices can no longer be mapped neatly onto class divisions; in this sense, though people are still (more) likely to choose those they have interests in common with, that may include people from a wider variety of backgrounds than would have been the case 20 or 50 years ago.In sum, while it is still early to judge the long-term effects of online dating, unguarded optimism about its powers is little more than believing technology has the power to transform humankind.Second, they may provide more opportunities to connect for people who are elderly, differently abled, or experience anxiety in social situations.
In this sense, it could be claimed that online platforms make dating easier, both by widening the pool of potential partners, and by helping people choose those they may want to meet 'in real life'.
They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience.
Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches.
This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.
Eva Illouz has forged a global reputation as one of the world’s most exciting sociologists through her cutting-edge work on the nature of emotion, intimacy and love in modern societies.
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Furthermore, online communication makes it easier to establish initial contact (which may be particularly important for young people, those who are shy, or LGBTQ individuals in closed, conservative, or homophobic environments).