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Confused and genuinely curious, I inquired after his endgame: Was he angling for me to come over, or was he just making conversation?
The latter, he said, before sinking back into a silence that lasted four more months.
Sherman and Grace both agree that apps like Tinder can be wonderful tools for introducing people who would never have met otherwise.
“But I think that was harder to do when they’d met at a place they’re going to see each other again, either in a small town, at church, in college, a fix-up.
D., invariably engaged to a rotating carousel of tycoon heirs; the “belle,” perpetually encircled by eager suitors; the “flirt”; the “baby vamp.” All of these entrenched themselves in popular culture, media coining terms the public then mimicked.
Social media takes it one step further, Weigel explains, algorithmically herding us into groups of people with whom we have interests in common: You and your friends probably inhabit the same online spaces, which means the internet probably pushes you toward the same types of guys.
So when the subtle shifts in conversational dynamics occurred—increasingly extended pauses between texts, outlines of weekend plans left to languish as Friday loomed—I (correctly) assumed imminent ghosting.
And while I found that style of exit both rude and frustrating, when things did fizzle for good, it seemed like the right and natural end. Roughly two months after my final unanswered text, I opened my phone to a series of dispatches from my ghost, making small talk about Netflix as if it had been a week since we’d spoken.
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” until I eventually answered, explaining that I was seeing someone but wished him well. His periscope dropped down below the waves, never to resurface again. In 2016, I referred to this episode ghosting, but the internet recently furnished a more precise term: submarining, or the sudden vanishing of a romantic prospect who just as suddenly reappears at some future date, cresting huge and unannounced and without mention of the intervening silence, as if they’d never disappeared at all.