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As, I think, are the swelling number of people who quietly turn up for the occasion.We are at a yoga studio in Manhattan on a Tuesday evening, waiting for a Tantric speed dating session to begin.All silliness – apart from the Cheshire Cat grin I wear to hide my awkwardness – is left at the door. Ladies form an inner circle facing the men on the outside. The guy is kind and holds my hand — metaphorically speaking — through this confusing and new experience, and he laughs with me as I bumble my way through the task. And so I find myself embracing a 7ft tall man who feels as resistant to this exercise as I do. This time by a man about my height who tells me he’s sorry for all the hurt his brothers have caused me.
At the front its sits knee high, which turns out to be a mistake, as I have to try my best not to flash everyone during the many legs-crossed, on-the-floor exercises that come later.
Where I struggle to hold eye contact or stop grinning, they are very comfortable in themselves and with the language of the night and things we are asked to do.
I, on the other hand, have to hold back a snigger at ‘divine god’ which Guy uses to describe the men in the room. In contrast to the women, each man I lock eyes with around the circle is like a nervous ball of energy. But then, just try looking silently and directly into the eyes of a stranger and see how long you last: it’s a very exposing thing to do.
The bold 50-something lady gives a frank ‘I want a lover’.
As does the late 40-something man that she towers over next to her. Despite the palpable nerves in the room, everyone seems to give an honest and straight answer. Am I meant to keep repeating the same thing over and over, or keep imagining up other lovely things to say about this complete unknown before me? You can opt out of any of the exercises but I don’t want to be ‘that’ person.
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But, if Tantra is really about connection and being present in the moment – giving your partner your full attention – I’m not surprised they have such a great time between the sheets.