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A couple of days after the funeral, I asked two of my most tolerant, patient friends – my college bestie, Niki, and my comedian pal Kevin to accompany me to Palmdale, California, home of lots of sketchy pancake restaurants, a tremendous amount of asphalt and the Wolf Connection sanctuary.The night before, I went into a wormhole of wolf photos for inspiration, but nothing prepares you for seeing a real one, much less touching one.It was breathtaking to see wolves free of pixels, without a comments section, or being reduced to “likes”. Turns out, the alpha wolf can usually be found sleeping. Didn’t it need to bark and growl and intimidate people to show everyone that it was the alpha? Ages ago, I read somewhere, probably in a self-help book I bought after a nasty breakup, that truly powerful beings don’t need to prove how powerful they are.I assumed I’d be watching the wolves from 20 feet away, squinting through glass and fences, desperately trying to get a selfie. At Wolf Connection, you go right into the enclosures with the animals. “That’s obviously the leader.” “Nope.” All right, I thought, then it must be the one that is eating. This made no sense to me until I saw it in action with the wolves.Blue Apron is a meal delivery service that provides US residents with pre-portioned meals with recipes to subscribers.Zip Recruiter lets you post your job to over 100 of the internets leading job boards with just 1 click so you can find qualified candidates within minutes of posting.

That was the kind of surrender I needed to navigate the grief in my chest.

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My dad’s death made me realise that in terms of work, a lot of the heavy load I was taking on came with a subconscious intent to get his attention, so when he died, my need to be productive also died a little, too.

Suddenly, nothing mattered, and my schedule opened up. I wanted to be around beings that understood death, that wouldn’t ask me how I was doing, and wolves seemed like the perfect company.

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